Twenty-Two….
It’s been quite a long time since my last blog. To be honest for a good chunk of time I had lost interest in just about everything, including blogging. Hell, including eating. I’ve lost roughly 4lbs since I moved to Vegas….and if you’ve ever seen me you know I can’t afford to lose any weight.
These are obvious signs of depression. I went to see my physician about a possible eating disorder (most likely associated with depression) a couple weeks ago. I don’t have the body image issues that are associated with something like anorexia, but my bmi is certainly considered underweight.
The fact I went to a behavioral health place (therapist/psychologist) voluntarily is a good sign in itself. I’ve gone through about 5 different antidepressants in my lifetime now without any help. They’ve actually done more harm than good, but I’m going to start therapy again as well as continue my search for a functional antidepressant.
I’m currently back in Stow, OH. I decided to stop by and celebrate my birthday with my family and also get a chance to spend time with some of my old friends from around here. I’ve been feeling better and it’s been nice to get out and see autumn back east. Being in the desert for 3 months straight was kind of like being in Ohio during the winter. When I came back I almost forgot about trees and grass and leaves that change colors!
It’s been a rough year for me, but I’m working on taking better care of myself and with that I’m confident I’ll be back in better form than ever. I recently turned 22 – more or less a mid-life crisis year in “poker years”, haha. I realize I’ve taken a lot for granted the past year and I’m really looking forward to some redemption this year.
Since I’m already on the east coast I’ll probably end up at Foxwoods next, possibly AC as well, I’ll have to check the exact schedules. Then I’ll head back to Vegas after Thanksgiving for Five Diamond. I’m also going to be doing some PokerVT work. I’m looking forward to getting back on the saddle and adding some more depth/layers to the site I once poured my heart into.
-Adam
on October 21st, 2009 at 8:00 am
Very refreshing to hear a poker player talk so honestly about life outside poker.
I wish you the very best in the future, both in poker and in life. It can be such a struggle when the cards turn on you. I hope to visit Las Vegas again soon to try and get back playing poker for a living again, currently in Bangkok and from Ireland so quite a journey lol. Again I wish u well.
on October 21st, 2009 at 12:23 pm
I am looking forward to your new stuff on PokerVT Adam.Your very good at it and it has changed my game for the better. Have good luck with everything and thank you.
on October 21st, 2009 at 9:09 pm
It’s been a while for sure. I am really happy to hear that you are taking steps to start feeling better. I went through something eerily similar this past year, except substitute the depression with anxiety. I lost weight, felt sick, it was terrible(all job related).
Take heart in the ‘smaller’ things like getting the chance to spend time with loved ones and friends back home. I’m assuming that alone has made you feel a lot better at least for the time being.
I may not be a poker pro right now as I’d hoped, but damn if I’m not letting my current job happiness(or lackthereof) negatively effect my life. (I teach at an inner city school).
I don’t know you personally but from following your life the past several years as a fan it really seems to me that you are a sincerely good dude. Good luck Adam, as always I’m rooting hard for you in poker AND life.
It’s time for you to pwn life.
- Mike T
on October 28th, 2009 at 9:03 pm
Adam, I’ve always enjoyed your blog because of your brute honesty when it comes to your hardships and triumphs.
No advice here, just a thank you.
on October 28th, 2009 at 9:03 pm
Adam, I’ve always enjoyed your blog because of your brute honesty when it comes to both your hardships and triumphs.
No advice here, just a thank you.
on November 1st, 2009 at 10:12 pm
“Greatness courts failure” – Tin Cup
Nothing you can’t handle bro – ur da man! I find a combo of Wellbutrin, Adderall, and low-carb Monsters works for me ..lol.
Depression is a weak/tight bungler – shove ATC on his butt
on November 5th, 2009 at 4:44 pm
Good luck battlin depression Adam. As someone who is in a constant battle with it I know first hand how difficult it can be.
If you want to rant to a stranger fish then hit me up and I’d be happy to chat with you
on November 16th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
I noticed you shipped 3rd in the Full Tilt FTOPS ME. Nice work! It’d be nice to read a post about the key hands in your tournament!
on November 16th, 2009 at 5:08 pm
Congrats on shipping $290k in the FTOPS ME! You were so due for a big score. Hopefully this brings about another blog post and update. Make it happen bud.
Keep the momentum going,
Mike T
on November 18th, 2009 at 7:52 pm
If you’re 22 in a mid life crisis, that makes me a poker playing grandpa at 23! lol
on November 28th, 2009 at 6:14 pm
My dearest jungle juice.
i always have faith that youll get back on track and be even more amazing in life than you already are.
it was amazing seeing you when you were home in oct. and im going to see you tonight hopefully before you fly back to vegas.
i want you to know how proud of you i am.
i love you dear! stay safe and do well in poker, which by the looks of things lately, your on the right track with that
see you soon
ohio motivation!!!
on January 19th, 2010 at 5:31 pm
I enjoy reading your posts. Thanks for all the hard work. Sara
on May 26th, 2010 at 1:03 am
my girlfriend gas an eating disorder called bulimia, she always throws up what she eats.’-.